The Trolley to Make-Believe

Game -16 Gates Crescent Park


Results:
A.J. - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)
Mike G. - 1 (GW)
Mikey Lyons - 1 (GW)
Melonie - 1 (GW)
Savannah - 1 (Poison Wicket Kill)


Standings:
A.J. - 19
John S. - 7
Mikey L. - 7
Boyd - 5
Josh- 5
Carly- 5
Dave Simpkins - 5
Poops - 4
Kelly - 4
Red - 4
Melonie - 4
Mike G. - 4
Deme - 3
Tashina - 3
Eric - 3
Rob - 3
Tim - 3
Temuchin - 2
Zach - 2
Ricky - 2
Frankie - 2
Julie - 2
Kevin - 1
Jess - 1
Doug - 1
Martin - 1
Jody - 1
Geoff - 1
Dave Bergonz - 1
Savannah - 1


Your latest NSCC scores have been affixed to the scoreboard and are now sacrosanct. The Rocket Powered Tsunami A.K.A. A.J. has left no doubt in the outcome of the season, but there are still some small cogent trees and rocks with which we can cling to, such as: With 4 games left in the '09 season can Mikey L. overcome John Pimpkins and claim second place? And......well, will Eric bring more beer that's imported from Canada?!?

We've played Gates Crescent many times before, but this park still feels uncharted to me, maybe it's the sight of a giant roller-coaster rising out of the trees or the volleyball sand pit or the trolley tracks, whatever the reason I always get a sense of something strange and abstruse just behind a tree or beyond hill;
There is something, grim, in the tulgey wood.
Something, abandoned.


I had problems going in to our game's poison battle between me and Mikey Lyons, it seems I drank so much I could no longer see, but Marika assured me I wasn't blind and the darkness was actually due to the sun dropping below the horizon as a result of the earth's rotation. Otherwise known as NIGHT. Whew!
Anyhoo, that's about it - all other games came to the conclusions that you can read above.

Highlights!

- Savannah hit a shot that ricocheted off a tree (tree trunk?) and thru her wicket. This went along nicely with her Poison Wicket Kill for her first point of the season.

-Not a highlight, but Mikey's shot that blasted off of Ricky's chest is worth mentioning here. He wasn't hurt at all and it's not funny but pretty damn fascinating if you got to see it live.


Here's your NSCC '09 Postcard - Wish you were here!







Little Kings & Shane vs. The World.





TUESDAY the 1st! Prepare for Thunderdome at the Horseshit pits at Rocky Mountain Park.



There's no earthly was of knowing
Which direction we are going.

High Noon at the Sun-Dial

Game 15 - Commons Park

Results:

Melonie - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)

Dave S. - 2 (Poison Wicket Kill, GW)

Tim - 1 (GW)

A.J. - 1 (GW)

Julie - 1 (GW)

Standings:
A.J. - 17
John S. - 7
Mikey L. - 6
Boyd - 5
Josh- 5
Carly- 5
Dave Simpkins - 5

Poops - 4

Kelly - 4

Red - 4
Deme - 3
Melonie - 3

Tashina - 3
Mike G. - 3
Eric - 3
Rob - 3
Tim - 3

Temuchin - 2
Zach - 2
Ricky - 2
Frankie - 2

Julie - 2

Kevin - 1
Jess - 1
Doug - 1
Martin - 1
Jody - 1
Geoff - 1
Dave Bergonz - 1

A.J.'s stubborn continuance to amass points has brought out the wolves, and now the forests ring with their baying.

Don't worry, were not veering into "rant about A.J." territory. I, for one, am impressed with what he's been able to do all season. If we kept records, I'm sure he'd be the owner of a few. This is more of a message to everyone else: remember, there is no A.J. in T.E.A.M. Don't roll over, never surrender, never give up. Unless your name is Jake. Cause if I were that guy, I would be embarrassed to even pick up a mallet. Does he even play anymore?

I believe we've learned our lessons from past games at Commons and kept most wickets around and within the confides of the Sun-Dial. I recall seeing only one wicket that dared to straddle the death-hill. Very PUSSY of those of you who set up courses. I kid, I kid. 5 games, 5 wieners. Dave managed a poison wicket kill point to go with his game winning point, cause they come better in a pair really. And Melonie finished off the night as our big winner and chose a park with no fuss and no muss. I've always wondered what in the fuck is "muss?"

As we begin our descent into the end of the season remember this ride is coming in hot and A.J.'s taken the last parachute.

Highlights!

- The Parks and Rec officer who, while questioning me about our beer, was five inches from getting smacked in the nuts by A.J.'s ball.

- We kept the "Rhino" at bay. And to all the other disappointed Inveiglers, maybe next time fellas...

-Beer Magic! --Witness the amazing beer can as it withstands croquet balls that bounce off the top of it! Abracadabra bitches!

- Dave Simpkins going through TWO wickets in one shot AND striking a ball in his game for a grand total of 3 shots!!!

Lowlights:

- Dave Simpkins not making it through the next wicket despite having 3 SHOTS!!

No-Justice League:

We're playing in a park where no more than 10 years ago the police were finding dead bodies with decapitated heads...they never caught the guy or guys responsible...enjoy your million dollar lofts fuckers!

Commons Commin' Atcha':

"Dave got a poison wicket kill cause of his shady tactics." - Mike G.

We break now for a quick recess, but shall reconvene next Tuesday at the location of preference: Gates Crescent Park.

Go.

And the Boyd Ban Played On

Game 14 - Washington Park


Results:
Deme - 2 (Game Winner , Big Winner)
John - 2 (GW, Poison Wicket Kill)
Tashina - 2 (GW, PWK)
Dave S. - 1 (GW)


Standings:
A.J. - 16
John S. - 7
Mikey L. - 6
Boyd - 5
Josh- 5
Carly- 5
Poops - 4
Kelly - 4
Red - 4
Deme - 3
Dave Simpkins - 3
Tashina - 3
Mike G. - 3
Eric - 3
Rob - 3
Temuchin - 2
Zach - 2
Ricky - 2
Frankie - 2
Tim - 2
Kevin - 1
Jess - 1
Julie - 1
Doug - 1
Melonie - 1
Martin - 1
Jody - 1
Geoff - 1
Dave Bergonz - 1

A.J.'s surge has been held in abeyance for now. But this is unnatural serenity. An eye of the hurricane. The few seconds of eerie calm before the Ghostbusters realized the StayPuff Marshmallow Man was stomping cars down 5th avenue.

Okay everyone can stop holding their breath and come up for air. We're done with Washington Park for the '09 season. So, what's with all the bad blood? Is it the traffic driving over? The vast sea of smug assholes? The negative-tons of parking spaces? The torturing inability to play on a real croquet court that's less than 5 feet away and LOCKED UP for no good-goddamn reason, usually taken over by guys born in 19-great depression that are one Viagra pill away from their heart exploding in their fucking chest and croaking right there on the fucking lawn?

I think our love/hate relationship with Wash park can best be summed up by this Poops story:
Poops: Maura and I were driving here and I was telling her how much I can't stand this park. Then I saw this smoking hot chick and I said, 'damn! Now I remember why I love this park!'
Maura: Eww, Creepy-Poops!
Poops: Then we pulled up and this guy was jogging without a shirt looking all buff and built and shit...
Maura: Oooh.
Popps: Eww, Creepy-Maura!

Regardless, fun was still had by all. John played his last game reminding us all why he's won two years straight, poison killing A.J. and winning his game. Tashina got her second poison kill in a row and also won her game. And even if we were denied playing on the lawn bowling court, we stormed the fences and took the poison battle there anyway.
Oh yeah, and I won it all, so fuck yo' couch.






Ladies and gentleman, we have met the enemy and they are fuck-knobs.


Lowlights!
- A.J. was first out in his game and "forgot" to pick up his wickets. As consequence, John and Mikey Lyons proposed a vote to the whole NSCC whereby A.J. must give one his points to Maura.
Click HERE if you vote yes, A.J.'s point should go to Maura.
Click HERE if you vote no, A.J.'s point should not go to Maura.

Oh the links don't work, but it's no different then any other election you voted in.


-Red in Ear Shot : (To Kevin) "You should trade me shoes!"

With my first win of the season I choose you Commons Park! See you at the sundial.

CINEMA BEERTE' (VIDEOS FROM BERKLEY)

Keep Your Pimphand Strong

Game 13 - Lakewood Gulch


Results:
A to the muthafuckin J - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)
Carly - 2 (Poison Wicket Kill, GW)
Rob - 1 (GW)
Red - 1 (GW)
Mikey L - 1 (GW)
Tashina - 1 (PWK)
Tim - 1 (PWK)


Standings:
A.J. - 16
Mikey L. - 6
John S. - 5
Boyd - 5
Josh- 5
Carly- 5
Poops - 4
Kelly - 4
Red - 4
Mike G. - 3
Eric - 3
Rob - 3
Temuchin - 2
Zach - 2
Dave Simpkins - 2
Ricky - 2
Frankie - 2
Tim - 2
Kevin - 1
Jess - 1
Julie - 1
Doug - 1
Melonie - 1
Martin - 1
Jody - 1
Geoff - 1
Deme - 1
Dave Bergonz - 1
Tashina - 1

------------------

"A.J. stands for Another Jesus" - Dave Bergonz.

The savior has returned or has been replaced or has been cloned. Whatever the case, he's here, and he's lighting up the scoreboard like a crackhead with his hair on fire. A.J. is the light that illuminates our crepuscular '09 season or crap-tacular if you will. Now that Another Jesus has a surfeit of points, many have asked what they can do to prepare and train themselves for the 2010 season. The great hope being they can be as good Him. I tell you the regimen is not easy, it's a terrible maw from which you may emerge a different person. Here are the steps:

Step One: Invoke a demon spirit, preferably one of Toltec origin such as the Deep Crow.

Step Two: Reflect how you came to be in this situation, ask yourself “where am I going?”

Step Three: Goggles.

Step Four: The Manitcore is malevolent and his lies are treacherous.

Following these four simple steps will insure great success!

Lakewood Gulch was a new addition to our touring band, proving meritorious for our purposes and I hope a staple for future seasons. Of course we stayed far away with having to deal with that Matterhorn of a hill as setting up a course on that would simply be an exercise in garrucha. Fittingly, we had a lot of points spread out across this game. 3 poison wicket kills, one going to Carly who also won her game netting her 2 points and a hand up in the pursuit for Second place. Kevin was poison wicket killed by Tim, who was then poison wicket killed by Tashina.

Highlights!

- Did I mention the poison wicket kills?

- Apparently a lot of guys were spending their nights on the couch for killing their respected others: Frankie after much dawdling killed Jess. Rob without hesitation killed Julie. A.J. probably killed Kelly without being in the same game, just because. And Mikey L. killed John Ratcliff.

- Jess leaving at halftime to put some laundry in the dryer.

- For some reason the Girl-unal being placed right in full view of where everyone was playing. Not to mention right in front of a CHILDREN'S PLAYGROUND.

- Little kids accosting Margaret when she tried to use the girl-unal, probably thinking it was a new addition to the jungle gym.

- Mikey Lyons hitting Carly's car with his ball.



Jess in Earshot: "That bug bounced right off my boob like a trampoline!"


Alright folks, the time has finally arrived! The park you either love to hate or hate to love! That's right it's ...Washington Park! Let's hope we can get onto the Lawn Bowling Green this year. If not, we'll beat those stuffy ol' white collars with our mallets and play on the lawn anyway!

See you there!