Game 5

Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting

Game 4 - McDonough

Results:

Dave (Big Daddy) Simpkins - 3 (Quickening, Game Winner, Big Winner)
Doug -2 (Quickening, Game Winner)
Deme - 1 (GW)
Kevin -1 (GW)
Ed -1 (GW)

Standings:

Ed - 4

Dave - 3
John- 3
A.J. - 3
Deme -2
Jody - 2
Doug - 2
Julie -1
Savannah - 1
Melanie - 1
Kelly - 1
Jess - 1
Tim -1
Red -1
Temuchin - 1
Kevin - 1

Game Quote of the Night -
"Halftime has gone from toking to changing poopie Pampers!"

NSCC Post Game Report Episode 5

Game 4

NSCC Post Game Report Episode 4

Who Could Hang A Name On You?

Game 3 - Ruby Hill

Results:

A.J. - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)
Kelly -1 (Poison Wicket Kill)
Jess - 1 (Poison Wicket Kill)
Tim - 1 (GW)
Jody - 1 (GW)
Red - 1 (GW)
Temuchin - 1 (GW)

Standings:
John- 3
Ed - 3
A.J. - 3
Jody - 2
Julie -1
Savannah - 1
Melanie - 1
Deme -1
Kelly - 1
Jess - 1
Tim -1
Red -1
Temuchin - 1


Stats:
In their respective games, both Jess and Kelly got their "Quickening" on -- Kelly killed Eric and Jess killed Mikey Lyons. But it wasn't enough as both ultimately lost their games.

Cry Me A Stratiform with Light to Moderate Hail

Game 2 - Berserkeley Park

Results:
Ed - 3 (Game Winner, Poison Wicket Kill, Big Winner)
Julie - 1 (GW)
Savannah - 1 (GW)
John - 1 (GW)


Standings:

John- 3

Ed - 3

Julie -1
Savannah - 1
A.J. - 1
Melanie - 1
Deme -1
Jody - 1

Stats:
Ed Poison Wicket Killed A.J.

NSCC PGR EP 3 "Game 1"

Game 2

Paille-maille

Game 1 - Apel-Bacher Park

We are officially underway with the 2010 season of the North Side Croquet Club.

New decade, new rules, new season VIDEO updates. That's right, the NSCC has entered the digital age. And every week watch as Mike GWOK and Jess bring you an in-depth and exciting look at what's happening in and around the world of NCSS. Check here, YouTube or Facebook for the latest episode. The blog will remain but will take a backseat-supporting role to the video, providing scoring tallies and where the next game will be.

Good luck to all players this season. Play fair, be good, be drunk, but most of all HAVE FUN!

RESULTS:
John - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)
A.J. - 1 (GW)
Melanie - 1 (GW)
Jody - 1 (GW)
Deme - 1 (GW)


John called Berkley park, so see you under the Promenade!

NSCC Post Game Report Episode 2

The Polls Are In!

Proposition 1 - Bananarchy -LOST
Referendum A -scoring section? - WON
Referendum B - schedule section? - WON
Referendum C - The Bocce WON
Referendum D - The Ballot Qualification - WON
Amendment 1 - The Quickening WON
Amendment 2 - Closest Bocce - LOST
Amendment 3 - The Skip -WON
Amendment 4a - Pulling the Wickets WON
Amendment 4b - Penalty for Non-Pulling - LOST
Amendment 5a - Eliminate Preseason - LOST
Amendment 5b - On 4/20
Amendment 6 - Penalty for Infractions - WON
Proposition 1 - Leave the playoffs alone- LOST
Proposition 2 - Eliminate the playoffs LOST
Proposition 3 - The Thunder Dome - WON
Proposition 4 - The Terror Drome - TIE, therefore LOST?
Clarification 1 - Mallet Borrowing - WON for as long as needed
Clarification 2 - Wicket Removal - WON

NSCC Post Game Report EP 1

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!

From Gwok:

The most anticipated season of the year is almost here. Welcome to the 2010 NSCC. We will have two preseason games this season, to test some new rules/changes, followed by the Official Start of the season on May 4th. Voting on the new rules/changes will take place during the week before May 4th.
All games start at 6:00 PM this year, get there early to claim your equipment if you don't have it in your possession. You are responsible for your equipment, as we will NOT be lugging around a huge bag of sticks and balls this season.
We are all looking forward to a fun and exciting season. Let's all practice good Croquetiquette and play with honor, integrity, and NO RUNNING.
Thank you to all the players who have made the NSCC the Premier Croquet League of The U.S.,

-Mike Gwok


NSCC Preseason Game #1: Time: 6:00PM - Date: Tuesday, April 20th Location:Wolff Park

One Mallet To Rule Them All

Game - 20

Wolf Park

Results:

Red - 2 (Game Winner,

Big Winner)

Dave B. - 2 (Game

Winner, Poison Wicket

Kill)

Dave S. - 1 (Game Winner)

Mikey L. - 1 (Game Winner)

Stephanie - 1 (Game

Winner)

NSCC '09 Champion --

A.J. Boyd-Points:

Standings:

2nd place - Red: Points 9

3rd place (TIE) - Dave S. and Mikey L.: Points 8

4th place (TIE) - Boyd and John S.: Points 7

5th place(TIE) - Josh, Carly, Kelly and Mike G.: Points 5

---------------------------------------------

Everyone Else:

Poops - 4

Melonie - 4

Frankie - 4

Tim - 4

Eric - 4

Deme - 3

Tashina - 3
Rob - 3

Temuchin - 2
Zach - 2
Ricky - 2

Julie - 2

Dave Bergonz - 4

Martin - 2
Marika - 2

Kevin - 1
Jess - 1
Doug - 1
Jody - 1
Geoff - 1

Savannah - 1

Stephanie - 1

In Which: A trophy is passed, a chicken fight is averted, the frost lies dormant no more and Gonzo reclaims his house.

AJ dropped a campaign of such Shock and Awe on the entire season I actually just woke up in the future in order to write this blog.

But it wasn't a dream, A.J. scored so many points he had to get Stephen Hawking to invent new numbers, yes, the '09 season was the A.J. Boyd Season. Never in doubt of his lead, since his lead was insurmountable since game 2 or 3, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I would've sworn that A.J. was computer generated.

So the NSCC trophy was passed on and A.J., having fulfilled his destiny, returned his mallet to the volcano where Zeus told him he'd find it.

Highlights:

-AJ swinging his mallet that I swear lit on fucking fire before it connected with his ball.

-No chicken fight? For the first time in NSCC history we broke with tradition and passed on chicken fighting. The gods will now curse us with a long and hard winter.

-Speaking of which, what a goddamn cold-as-your-momma's-black-heart of a night. People could barely manage to hold a beer and a mallet and another beer and a smoke and another beer.

-Always remember this. Dave Bergonz owns Wolf Park. The park is his. Claim not upon his sacred land, lest thee be forsaken.

Cro-Quotes!

"This is STUPID!" -Mikey Lyons (upon hearing that both Dave and Red had won their games to challenge him for a three way tie for second place in the poison battle)

By The Way:

Red won and called Wolf park for our next game on Tuesday, April 20th 2010.

Woodbury Bonus

Game - 19 Highlands Park



Résultats:
Frankie - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)
Dave S. - 1 (GW)
Martin - 1 (GW)
Tim - 1 (GW)
Eric - 1 (PWK)


Standings:
A.J. - 21
John S. - 7
Mikey L. - 7
Boyd - 7
Red - 7
Dave Simpkins - 7
Josh- 5
Carly- 5
Mike G. - 5
Kelly - 5
Poops - 4
Melonie - 4
Frankie - 4
Tim - 4
Eric - 4
Deme - 3
Tashina - 3
Rob - 3
Temuchin - 2
Zach - 2
Ricky - 2
Julie - 2
Dave Bergonz - 2
Martin - 2
Marika - 2
Kevin - 1
Jess - 1
Doug - 1
Jody - 1
Geoff - 1
Savannah - 1

--------------------------

So it's come to this:


Time to break out the old glue gun, and slap that trophy together anew so we can hurry up and give A.J. the trophy that's been rightfully his since about week 3. Once this business has been concluded we can get down to what really counts in this, our final game of the NSCC '09 season.

The 5 way tie for 2nd place.
It'll be so awesome it'll be like a nuclear kick-blast to your brain.


So who has the best shot?

- Will A.J. take off his mask during half-time to reveal that he's been John all along? Then run away laughing with the trophy?

- Will Dave Simpkins try to restore some sort of semblance of his former glory?

- Will Mikey Lyons quiet the naysayers and prove to everyone, including his peers, fellow Beaver teammates, his best friend Stiles, and his semi-girlfriend Boof, that he can win without turning into a wolf?

- Will Red be able to outlast the entire game before the cops show up and arrest his mallet for the murder of countless balls, gypsies, and Patrick Swayze?

- Will someone hand Boyd a lighter so he can light his goddamn cigarette?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


But before all this we had to play our penultimate game at Highlands Park.
Playing at Highlands seemed like a exercise in anility: it when on way too long and by the end even the people who remained couldn't remember who won.
But all is not lost --and many Bothan spies died to bring us this information:


Highlights:

- Krisha showed great promise for returning a stronger player next season by taking Dave to the limit in their game's poison battle. Way to go Krisha remember all off-season conditioning and workouts are MANDATORY. That goes for Martin too.

- Frankie showed up and won his game and was the overall winner, but then he went home and ate a bunch of Bald Eagle eggs and then stole a bunch of wheelchairs from the Children's Hospital. So, you know...



Cro-Quotes:

"Want some candy?" - Red





Alright you all know where to be next Tuesday night at 6 p.m.

Pferdesteller!!!

oh, gesundheit! Wolff Park!

Flamingos and Hedgehogs

Game - 18 Hallack Park

Results:

Red - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)

A.J. - 1 (GW)

Kelly - 1 (GW)

Marika -1 (GW

Dave - 1 (Poison Wicket Kill)

Dave Bergonz - 1 (Poison Wicket Kill)

(not on each other)

Standings:

A.J. - 21
John S. - 7
Mikey L. - 7
Boyd - 7
Red - 7
Dave Simpkins - 6

Josh- 5
Carly- 5

Mike G. - 5

Kelly - 5

Poops - 4

Melonie - 4

Deme - 3

Tashina - 3
Eric - 3
Rob - 3
Tim - 3

Temuchin - 2
Zach - 2
Ricky - 2
Frankie - 2

Julie - 2

Dave Bergonz - 2

Marika - 2

Kevin - 1
Jess - 1
Doug - 1
Martin - 1
Jody - 1
Geoff - 1

Savannah - 1

There's a little more White Rabbit in this blog then I like, but it's been a long weekend. So without further delay lets move on, I'm already late and the Queen is a quick to hanker for a cranium or two.

Red won.

Highlights!

-Cigarette butt hero - much dispute and fervor over a cigarette butt that stopped Mikey's ball dead in it's tracks and set him up to be killed by Mike G. just inches away. But Mike G's victory was cut short as he was killed by his sister. The cigarette butt giveth, the cigarette butt taketh away.

- Other stuff happened I'm sure, but that's what I get for taking so fucking long to write the blog. Besides, you LIVED it man. You lived it.

Famous Cro-quotes:

"Nighttime is my time to shine." -Dave Bergonz

"You need a ball made of silver or silver bullets to kill this man." - Mikey Lyons

Quick Fact:

Red has only scored in 2 or 3 games which, apparently, is all he needs since he's now tied for second.

So Dave and I and others have been brainstorming ideas for a few rule/scoring changes. Sure some of these have been influenced and/or shaped because of AJ's route during the season, but new shit has come to light!

I think the best would be to set up some email vote that we'll send out sometime during the off-season, if you have any other suggestions let one of us know.

Here's a few so far -

-The Quickening - Poison Wicket Kill someone, immediately become poison.

-One point for the person who gets the closest bocce.

-Eliminating the "poison wicket kill on any game's wicket" rule and keeping it confined to your game's wickets only.

-A top bracket game as we get more into the season, (halfway through?) Where the top 4 or 5 players in the Standings play against each other.

-A lot of people seem to be in favor of awarding a point for making poison, but trust me, keeping score is already a nightmare and this would make it worse. Also keep in mind that if this rule were in place, AJ would probably have about 20 more points.

-Making it a rule that if you don't pull your wickets you are docked a point.

Poison Battle Changes:

-Designating a small area where the poison battle takes place. If you go outside this area you either lose a turn and have to drop your ball back into the area of play or you're out.

-Making it so that you have to tag everyone in the poison battle once. I think this raises logistical concerns with who will keep track of who hit who and would make the poison battle even longer.

There was talk of returning to NASCAR scoring but, again, I wouldn't wish this on HAL let alone anyone who'd have to put up with the eventual hassle of tallying and keeping up with all those points.

-----------------------------------------------------

Highlands Park was called for the 9/15/09 -- 32nd and Feds

You only have so far to go.

Family Affair

Game - 17 Rocky Mountain Park


Results:
Boyd - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)
A.J. - 1 (GW)
Mike G. - 1 (GW)
Marika -1 (GW)

Standings:
A.J. - 20

John S. - 7

Mikey L. - 7

Boyd - 7

Josh- 5

Carly- 5

Dave Simpkins - 5
Mike G. - 5
Poops - 4
Kelly - 4
Red - 4

Melonie - 4
Deme - 3
Tashina - 3

Eric - 3

Rob - 3

Tim - 3
Temuchin - 2

Zach - 2

Ricky - 2

Frankie - 2
Julie - 2
Kevin - 1

Jess - 1

Doug - 1

Martin - 1

Jody - 1

Geoff - 1

Dave Bergonz - 1
Savannah - 1
Marika - 1

August 30th, 2009-
I've never committed these words to paper, afraid to see the evidence of my insanity before me. But it cannot be denied. Though I know not what events guide this anomaly, I know that this confluence will last but a short time.

August 31st, 2009 -
This may very well be my final entry. Tomorrow I travel to Rocky Mountain Park and will see with my own eyes that which cannot be Unseen.

September 1st, 2009-
Played croquet. The Destructor has taken the form of a young man in his twenties. Out of one of his 5 terrible mouths he spoke in a language that sounded like children screaming, and began his awful work that ended the Earth.

Then there was the poison battle- which pitted sibling against sibling, brother against brother, sister against brother - and like so many times this season a Boyd won, only this was the first born...Chris.
Also, Dave admonished me for last weeks blog in which I mentioned Mikey as the only one in contention for 2nd place. I was wrong. There are more than 7 people, including Mikey who have a chance. Bless you Dave for seeing the error of my ways, bless you.


Highlights!
-Chris Boyd's ball acting as a shield and protecting Dave's ball from being killed by AJ's poison ball. No, Chris wasn't in their game. Here is a diagram:

Chris= Blue, AJ = Yellow, Dave = Green
Here's how it went down:
1). Dave's ball sits by itself at the bottom of the hill.

2). Chris Boyd's ball comes to rest right next to Dave's ball.

3). AJ aiming for Dave's ball, and would've hit Dave's ball had Boyd's ball not been there.


- The Wicket from hell, on the course I set up. Poor Stephanie and Carly were stuck on it nearly the whole game. I do apologize, but you guys have been playing for a few years now and besides it wasn't nearly as hard as:

-Dave's course - for advanced players only. This course was so hard that Jody just had to go tell Mikey Lyons how hard it really was, Mikey agreed that it did indeed look like a very difficult course, they then retired to the conservatory for tea and to discuss the ramifications of the protectionist tariff of 1832.

We have 3 games left y'all. Which means that the Hallack winner will be the last one to call a park, then on 9/22/09 at Wolf Park we will have our final game and immediately following we'll jump on each others shoulders, after a night of drinking heavily, in order to ram our bodies into others who are hoisting people on their shoulders.

Tuesday the 8th of September - Hallack Park, 20th and Irving.

Move like you got a purpose people.