Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town

So I'm gonna roll everything into one gigantic email here. We'll start off with the top 5, which I'll be doing for Jess this week since she had to miss the game yesterday. Let's call it...

Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town

Despite an email exchange in which remembering to bring a pen was mentioned a dozen times, I forgot to bring a pen. So everything here is what we jotted down into Deme's iPhone, which I'm going to nominate as hero of the week. Those things are frickin' cool.

Top 5

- Eric's wrap around in which his ball stayed put but his mallet went through the wicket and got stuck.
- The poison battle starting at 8:30
- Dave jumping booty ass naked into the swimming pool with no water
- Cancer wicket

- The street light working

Tip 'O the week: picking up wickets doesn't mean just throwing them at the bag.

Douche bag of the week: Mike for offering a dollar to anyone who could hit Trece with their ball.
Also, I don't think he ever payed up for his 1$ offers to "dong" the pole.

So I know this is a pretty feeble Top 5, and I apologize. Next time maybe I'll remember a pen.

Onward and upward-

Game winners and such
I was the big winner of the night, outshooting or outlasting John, Josh, Carly and Tim. Carly and John both also got wicket kills. I'm calling Mosquito park for Tuesday, but before that, Josh and Phil are gonna host a tournament this Sunday at their new place. The address is 7733 w 95th dr. Hopefully that map is right, because google maps is acting real squirrely about it. If you get lost, call somebody.We'll tap the keg around noon, and start up the game around 1:00. Probably $5 as usual.

Standings

So I was also asked to send out the standings since we're heading into the home stretch here, with only three games left.

John - 11 points
Deme - 10 points
Josh - 10 points
Dave - 8 points
Kevin - 7 points
Boyd - 7 points
Eric - 6 points
Doug - 6 points
Carly - 6 points
Tim - 6 points
Poops - 5 points
Dak - 3 points
Viv - 3 points
Shane - 3 points
AJ - 3 points
Ricky - 3 points
Red - 3 points
Jess - 2 points
Nate - 2 points
Steph - 2 points
Jake - 2 points
Tashina - 2 points
Savannah-2 points
Melanie - 2 points
Mike - 2 points
Gen - 1 point
Poops - 1 point
Sonia - 1 point
Julie - 1 point
Margaret - 1 point
Marco - 1 point
Mary - 1 point
Kevin F - 1 point
Amber - 1 point

That's all that I can remember for now, so see y'all on Sunday or Tuesday or whenever.

Township Rebellion

Our history at Wash park seems to be that we get to play the croquet green every other year, this being our apparent off year. 

Although Carly tried to talk the guy into leaving the lights on for us, let us remember that we have been playing in the dark for a really really long time. Thou shalt not vex a stranger, I suppose.

I do have to say that Wash Park was looking its best. It was beautiful and quiet. Just the right mixture for a lovely match of croquet. Maybe Rage Against the Machine put the right voodoo out there for us or something?

Top 5:

1. Mike's porn stash.

2. Sesame chicken w/ egg rolls. (Someone was hungry!)

3. The most peaceful game of croquet ever. (Jess, Josh, Amber, Savanna and Shane)

4. Red's glorious kill on Deme.

5. The return of Gen.

Tip of the Week:

"Grass is good for beer, but not your balls"

Hero of the Week:

Everyone who brought beer! aka Mikaela for bring beer and not even playing.

Slogan of the Week: By Amber

"Just let it go..."

Lets Get O.G.:

Doug - "Back in the day when Emy was droppin' the zip cord"

Doug - "When being North Side was being North Side"

Jeff - "Being wasted!"

Douche-bag of the Week:

"The Wash Park Lawn Bowling club for playing some gay ass botche and not letting us jump the fence", says Mike G. followed by "You should also add something about old geezer balls".

Things I shouldn't have Overheard:

"Are you ready for some white on white" some dude said to his wife referring to the lawn bowlers.

That Sounds Good!:

Taco night at Jess' (man I must make one hell of a taco)

Where is John?:

He's not here because he's probably at his bachlorette party. - Deme

Thanks everyone for making it out there, it was a great time. Congrats to Amber on killing Shane and getting her first point!

See you all next week!

I Can't See Your Face In My Mind

This weeks game started out fresh, Jake and I tailgated with some Popeye's, which should have been chicken and a 40oz, but I can do with strips and mashed potatoes.

Who's got Olympic fever? If there was a gold medal to be given out at this weeks game, Savanna should have been Michael Phelps. Silver goes to Brunn for flying in for the game, and Bronze goes to Mikaela for playing the entire game on a bum knee. I've been nominated by Maura for the Olympic Congeniality Medal, for my impersonation of Missy Elliott's "I cant stand the rain", dance moves, in my black trash bag rain coat, compliments of Dave S. "I would like to thank early 21st century hip-hop, my mom, to Wyclef Jean for teaching me to shake what my mamma gave me, of course to god cause that's what your supposed to say, and how could I forget my wonderful fans! Without you, I laugh by myself".

Hey, at next years match at City Park, I propose the statue that was about 200 yards from us, it was cool, and there was light.

Lets Go Top 5:

1. Mike G.'s first point.

2. Red rockin' the purse

3. Jess' trash bag mexican hat dance.

4. Shane's failed kamikaze mission - there was "heart of gold" in it!

5. Mike G.'s tree blind wicket shot.

Bonus Top 5:

6. Shane's 25 foot english wicket shot, with the roll back through the wicket.

7. Third annual citrus death star kill by Dave S.

Tip of the Week: By Guest Star: Brunn

"You can never win with the citrus death star" (orange ball)

Douche-Bag of the Week:

Wet goose shit and John for picking the dark park, and not even coming to the game.

Let's Get O.G.: By Nate-Dogg

Didn't it rain last year at this park? And what happened to playing at the tennis courts?

Conversations I shouldn't have Overheard:

"Girls are pretty when they're wet"

Moment that shouldn't have happened:

Zak caught pudd whacking in the bushes.

Her of the Week:

Big Black TRASH BAGS

Slogan of the Week:

"City Park equals Shitty Park" "It's always shitty in the city"

Like Dave S. said, next weeks park is at Washington Park. Oh, and before I forget, Mikaela wanted me to post her address for a little get together at her place on Saturday, August 16th. 2919 Depew. Dunno what time, call Maura.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama

Welcome to this weeks community blog. 

This was the neatest, most tidiest poster that I think we have ever had. Most other times, I have to become Timmy and figure out what Lassie is trying to tell me,  and its not usually a fire down in the old shed on old man Withers acre.

I don't really have that much to say this week, not because I'm not feeling witty or didn't witness great moments in NSCC history, only because I think you say it all on the poster, better than I ever could.

We have fun, and that's what its all about. We easily bring outsiders in, to participate in the camaraderie that is this league, and I feel bad for anyone who cant see the spirit in that.

Top 5:

1. Paleta Spider Man.

2. Mikey's return.

3. Kevin on the tennis court.

4. The cleanest poster yet!

5. Tashina's bagpipes.

Hero of the Week:

Wolf - the return...

Tip of the Week:

"Don't eat yellow snow, don't pee in the wind, and always cover dog poo with 3 wickets and a plastic bag."

Douche-Bag of the Week:

A self confession: I, Julie, nominate myself for killing Rob (my b.f.) right before he got poison.

 :o(

Dave fore cleaning up before the game was done playing though and everyone for making Dave clean up shit every week.

Lets Get O.G.:

"Jessica M. was here '08" - was in the women's restroom stall (and no, I didn't write it)

Bottom 5:

-No beer -AGAIN?! What the *#@!

Obscure Misc.:

Martin (the croquet virgin) gets hit in the ankle by Viv's croquet ball & then jumps every time he hears "watch out!".

Something I should have NEVER overheard:

Wolf to Carly "You just put your man's stick in my mouth" then later on that evening...

Lion "I'm gonna die from cancer"

Josh "We're all gonna die from cancer"

Lion "Well, especially me."

Josh "Well, lets die together"

Lion "Oh,... I'll die."

Useful Information for your Bubble:

Did you know, its not only a bubble, its also a condom.

Thanks everyone for your participation this week. I HAVE NO MORE TAG BOARD! So if someone would like to contribute and either bring one, or if everyone wants to contribute to buy like 5 more for the rest of the season, that would be really cool.

Next weeks park is City Park, and NOT by the tennis courts... this year we are moving closer to the playground. See you next week!