Keep Your Pimphand Strong

Game 13 - Lakewood Gulch


Results:
A to the muthafuckin J - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)
Carly - 2 (Poison Wicket Kill, GW)
Rob - 1 (GW)
Red - 1 (GW)
Mikey L - 1 (GW)
Tashina - 1 (PWK)
Tim - 1 (PWK)


Standings:
A.J. - 16
Mikey L. - 6
John S. - 5
Boyd - 5
Josh- 5
Carly- 5
Poops - 4
Kelly - 4
Red - 4
Mike G. - 3
Eric - 3
Rob - 3
Temuchin - 2
Zach - 2
Dave Simpkins - 2
Ricky - 2
Frankie - 2
Tim - 2
Kevin - 1
Jess - 1
Julie - 1
Doug - 1
Melonie - 1
Martin - 1
Jody - 1
Geoff - 1
Deme - 1
Dave Bergonz - 1
Tashina - 1

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"A.J. stands for Another Jesus" - Dave Bergonz.

The savior has returned or has been replaced or has been cloned. Whatever the case, he's here, and he's lighting up the scoreboard like a crackhead with his hair on fire. A.J. is the light that illuminates our crepuscular '09 season or crap-tacular if you will. Now that Another Jesus has a surfeit of points, many have asked what they can do to prepare and train themselves for the 2010 season. The great hope being they can be as good Him. I tell you the regimen is not easy, it's a terrible maw from which you may emerge a different person. Here are the steps:

Step One: Invoke a demon spirit, preferably one of Toltec origin such as the Deep Crow.

Step Two: Reflect how you came to be in this situation, ask yourself “where am I going?”

Step Three: Goggles.

Step Four: The Manitcore is malevolent and his lies are treacherous.

Following these four simple steps will insure great success!

Lakewood Gulch was a new addition to our touring band, proving meritorious for our purposes and I hope a staple for future seasons. Of course we stayed far away with having to deal with that Matterhorn of a hill as setting up a course on that would simply be an exercise in garrucha. Fittingly, we had a lot of points spread out across this game. 3 poison wicket kills, one going to Carly who also won her game netting her 2 points and a hand up in the pursuit for Second place. Kevin was poison wicket killed by Tim, who was then poison wicket killed by Tashina.

Highlights!

- Did I mention the poison wicket kills?

- Apparently a lot of guys were spending their nights on the couch for killing their respected others: Frankie after much dawdling killed Jess. Rob without hesitation killed Julie. A.J. probably killed Kelly without being in the same game, just because. And Mikey L. killed John Ratcliff.

- Jess leaving at halftime to put some laundry in the dryer.

- For some reason the Girl-unal being placed right in full view of where everyone was playing. Not to mention right in front of a CHILDREN'S PLAYGROUND.

- Little kids accosting Margaret when she tried to use the girl-unal, probably thinking it was a new addition to the jungle gym.

- Mikey Lyons hitting Carly's car with his ball.



Jess in Earshot: "That bug bounced right off my boob like a trampoline!"


Alright folks, the time has finally arrived! The park you either love to hate or hate to love! That's right it's ...Washington Park! Let's hope we can get onto the Lawn Bowling Green this year. If not, we'll beat those stuffy ol' white collars with our mallets and play on the lawn anyway!

See you there!