Ever Valiant

Game 8 - Sloans Lake

Results:
Boyd - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)

Eric - 1 (GW)

A.J. - 1 (GW)

Mikey L. - 1 (GW)

John S. - 1 (GW)

Martin - 1 (PWK)

Standings:

A.J. - 9

Mike L. - 4
Red - 3
Josh - 3
Poops - 3
Mike G. - 3

John S. - 3

Boyd - 3

Eric - 3
Temuchin - 2
Zach - 2
Carly- 2
Kelly - 2
Kevin - 1
Jess - 1
Frankie - 1
Julie - 1
Dave - 1
Doug - 1
Melonie - 1

Martin - 1

---------------------------------------

No excuse. The long weekend laid a mesmerizing melody on my mind and all responsibilities along with this blog were Pied Pipered away. But I've emerged from my gelatinous cocoon, a little sticky, naked, and for some reason clutching a pink plastic flamingo, but no worse for wear and ready with alacrity to report on our previous croquet match.

So, uh, does anyone remember anything funny or interesting that happened? I heard Jermaine Jackson died. Anything else?

Oh! Shockingly A.J. didn't win. But the Force is strong in that family and Boyd picked up the slack to win the day.

Highlights!

- Martin, way to go with getting your first point of the season unfortunately it came at a price: he poison wicket killed his own girlfriend for it. Ouch.

- Some of you might've spotted our special guest rolling around, the guy in the wheelchair with the laptop, everyone lets hear it for Stephen Hawking! And even though Mr. Hawking can't actually play with us, he was able to calculate who the winner would be. He also discovered what A.J.'s weakness was but before he could tell me, a large portal of energy opened up behind him and he was sucked through the vortex. Good luck!

- Carly's stupendous 8 wicket run.

- Shane made Sonia drop her ice cream. Why or how he did this I was not told. But John bought Shane an ice cream, then knocked it out of his hand before he could take a bite. Because no one messes with a Simpkins woman. Apparently.

- Ed's nonsense advice to Eric on which ball he should hit during the poison battle. Nonsense because - A. He was telling Eric which ball color was which. B. It was DARK. C. Oh yeah, Ed is COLORBLIND!!!

- There was a tournament about a week ago. It was ravenously documented by Mike and Jess so wait for the premier for highlights. Jake won. Phil was 2nd. And Dave got his money back. Here is a picture:

Shane In Ear Shot - "I thought I smelled pussy." (upon seeing Dom)

The Prince Of Puzzlers, The Count Of Conundrums: Dave and this weeks riddle:

Who knew about the Scotsman,
around the North side?
Maybe they don't show,
the same kind of pride?
But this park and it's sister,
southern by 10 blocks,
seem to be in tribute,
to the land o' the lochs.

Stuck between two saints,
Catherine and Clair.
Don't blink when you drive past,
you might not see it's there.
And If you're out cruisin',
On a Saturday night,
pass El Forastero,
and then take a right.

Everybody's working for next Tuesday...

Samuel 1:17

Game 7- Sunken Gardens (Now with 10% Less Bums!)


Results:
Kelly !! - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)
John S. - 1 (GW)
Mike G. - 1 (GW)
Mikey L. - 1 (GW)
Melanie - 1 (GW)


Standings:
A.J. - 8
Red - 3
Josh - 3
Poops - 3
Mike G. - 3
Mike L. - 3
John S. - 2
Temuchin - 2
Eric - 2
Zach - 2
Carly- 2
Kelly - 2
Kevin - 1
Jess - 1
Boyd - 1
Frankie - 1
Julie - 1
Dave - 1
Doug - 1
Melonie - 1
--------------------------------

Congrats to Kelly, a.k.a. 'A.J.-Slayer' for forgoing the bounds and bastions of love and promptly beating the shit out of her boyfriend. Way to go Kel!
Not only did she kill AJ in her own game and thwarted his Hat Trick, but she fought on to win the Poison Battle -and the right to pick our next Thunderdome at....well, see if you can solve Dave's Riddle of Madness to find out!

Game 7 is officially in the books. It was a little soggy at the beginning but turned into a hot mess later with people shedding clothes like dirty hippies at an Askimbo concert. I'm starting to sound like a broken record with this weather we're having: Soak early, warm dry to finish, rinse, repeat.
We saw some new faces, and old friends return. The rain ran off the bums but they left mementos to remember them by...

Highlights!

-John and Sonia return from Mexico. John marked his return by playing like he never left. He glided through the course and killed everyone in our game to raise his overall point total to 2, which places him in a six-way-tie for 3rd place. Sonia wasn't too shabby neither and nearly poison-wicket-killed A.J. herself. If John can keep himself out of school, can he make a late run for a three-peat? *shudder*

- Also in the Late-Bloomer category Mike G. won his game. I don't know anything else about this game other than Mike won... Horseshit.

- Vivian's friend Joie (pronounced Joey) played her first game ever and provided her first ever highlight by being her own halfpipe when her ball ricocheted off a rock and rolled up her body. She meant to do that, by the way.

- Dave discovered where the bums hide their gold. Way to go Dave, you always had a nose for these things.

- 2 Square with a tiny ball. I think Mike declared himself champion of this wack-ass-game. Good work Mike, when it comes to tiny balls you're truly a champion.

-Also if you turn to Part 10, subsection 2 in your NSCC rules manual you'll see that it actually says you CAN bring beer to croquet.


Dave In Ear Shot - "Shitter on the Rocks!"



Tourney Time!
We will have our first proper tournament of the season this Sunday at 1:00 at Mike and Margaret's house. Bring Your Own Everything. That includes but is not limited to zoo animals and bazookas and fire trucks and priests and drugs and booze! There will be a $5 buy in.



"Batman: The Riddler is loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums"
-From The 60's Batman TV show.

The park we're playing this week, it has quite a curious history
How it became the way it is, is a bit of a mystery.
It's thought there was a farmer, who dug a well and went to bed.
the next day went out to his field, and found a lake instead.
We've not taken advantage, of this parks immense size.
This year lets give the tennis folk, a croquet club surprise
But there's two different courts you say, which one should I choose?
The first part of our name, should supply the relevant clues.



It may be the PBR talking but the PBR says see you there

Your the Best Around! Nothing's Gonna Ever Keep You Down!

Game 6 - Zuni Park


Results:
A.J. - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)
Mikey - 1 (GW)
Dave - 1 (GW)
Doug -1 (GW)

Standings:
A.J. - 8
Red - 3
Josh - 3
Poops - 3
Mike G. - 2
Temuchin - 2
Eric - 2
Zach - 2
Carly- 2
Mike L. - 2
Kevin - 1
John S. - 1
Jess - 1
Boyd - 1
Frankie - 1
Julie - 1
Dave - 1
Doug - 1


Something deep is stirring, the drums are beating, It has awoken.


Producing blogs about people playing croquet badly is an easy venture. Add a couple of drunks falling flat on their faces, a dash of Red doing anything, and top it off with some knucklehead falling out of a tree and you've cooked up a nice, entertaining, funny feature. But when someone is playing great the muse is reticent.

I overheard some suggest placing a curse or at least some "bad vibes" on A.J. This will not work. A.J. has already taken the necessary steps to insure protection from such jinxes. The tale as told is a good one - let's unlock this further, come with me, won't you?

PART 1.
A.J. was already aware of his talent at croquet. He could amass a few points here and there with a good shot at challenging for 1st place. But this was not good enough, and AJ knew that if he wanted to achieve complete victory and dominate his opponents he would need an even greater strength. A divine strength. And AJ knew just where to get it.
Meanwhile, high above in the heavenly abodes of Asgard, the warrior-god Tyr sat upon his throne of ice and wolf's hide. Tyr -One-Handed, paused while imbibing his mead as if hearing faint whispers rise and die on the wind. Gulping down the rest of his mead, the Warrior God felt it settle in his iron belly with the uneasy alloy of forbode and vicissitude.
TO BE CONTINUED...

Okay so before I get to the highlights let me just say: I suggest we all make an effort, to you know, PLAY and not just roll over and with exposed tummies simply hand A.J. the trophy. Someone needs to start going on a run and needs to start like, yesterday. As I see it, no matter your score, we're ALL in second place now. But there is plenty of croquet left.


Highlights!

- Proof that God plays croquet or at least is a Northsider: Just as the games started up, the rain broke and the rest of the night was clear and cool.

- Kelly stuck on the mound of mulch. Not so much stuck as she was USED by EVERYONE in her game to get through the mound of mulch wicket. I think she set up a total of 200 times but was knocked out of place just so some fool could go through. Next time Kelly, forgo the wicket and just chase everyone and send them into any street, pool of water or bush available.

- Birthday at croquet with Shane. We may not have broken into song this time but I think a card was passed around along with some gin!

- Mike G's debut of his new mallet. A fine piece of woodwork. Unfortunately, his sad devotion to his mallet didn't help him win his game or conjure up the stolen data tapes or give him clairvoyance enough to find the rebels' hidden fortress...

-An old lesbian couple walked up to Stephanie and asked if we were performing a "team building exercise"
Morally Conscious Reader: How do you know they were Lesbian?
Me: Because the dogs they were walking were gay and the bigger one challenge me to arm wrestle.
Morally Conscious Reader: What do you mean, old?
Me: Hey, age ain't nuthin' but a number, but I think one of them was George Washington.

Mikey In Ear Shot x2! -- "Hey...your dog's got Little Caesar's!" and "That sounded like the thrust of Thor!"


Dave's Riddle (The Return)

Once again the location to next weeks game will be revealed IF you can solve this riddle:

They say it's a garden, but the flowers are missing.
Instead you get homeless dudes, shitting and pissing.
Those must be the graduates, all heading forth,
from the only high school, that was crappier than North.
So meet by the rocks which makes this park unique.
We'll run off the homeless dude, taking a leak.
We'll play a late game, lit by ambulance light.
And when it's all over, we'll watch a bum fight!

Go Team.

Dawn of the Dead

Game 5 - City of Cuernavaca Park



Results:

A.J. - 2 (Game Winner, Big Winner)
Zach - 1 (GW)
Poops - 1 (GW)
Julie - 1 (GW)
Carly - 1 (GW)


Standings:

A.J. - 6
Red - 3
Josh - 3
Poops - 3
Mike G. - 2
Temuchin - 2
Eric - 2
Zach - 2
Carly- 2
Kevin - 1
John S. - 1
Jess - 1
Boyd - 1
Frankie - 1
Mike L. - 1
Julie - 1


Once more with feeling - Three cheers for John and Sonia and a truly splendid ceremony. Way to get hitched in style guys. We countered the old sorcery from turning our carriages back into pumpkins and salsaed until the early 'morn. Or at least till 9:30. Enjoy the days enduring you crazy kids. And in honor of your magical mystery honeymoon to Mexico we decided to play at a park named after a city in Mexico. (Okay not really, but just tell them that we they get home)

Ah Cuernavaca, lying in the shadow of a once crumbling silo, phased into luxury.
Cuernavaca, you cradle budding yuppies who, in their matching shirts and Heinken, automate in some pre-mating ritual known to layman's as "kick-ball."
But buried deep within you is a dark secret; and once a year those who remember your former ruins, surface and stalk your sacred grounds to drink heavily, play croquet, and leave your port-a-potties in a terrible decay unfit for subhumans. The yuppies, used to their conformity, weep and cower in befuddlement until we submerge once more.


A.J. Boyd has now taken a commanding 6 point lead. Since he was in my game I feel a little responsible for this, as I was also poison at one point. However, I was unaware that A.J.'s ball was carved out of the same wood as Chuck Norris's balls and AJ's ball proceeded to kick my ball in the nuts. The end.

Highlights!

Instead of our usual quick review of highlights I'm trying something a little different this time. A message was delivered to me by Pony Express. It was written on cardboard torn from a case of Pabst. A little hard to decipher the writings of what I assume was a drunk Irishman, yet I will try to translate here:

-'"You are an affirmation" - E.O.' I think the 'E.O.' stands for Eric Orr. But who is this mysterious "affirmation"? The easy assumption would be me, but I transcended affirmation months ago and became infallible. So, who could it be...

-'"you are an asshole"- D.K.' This has to be Doug. And being Doug, the 'asshole' just might be the asshole in every single one of us.

-"u cant spell" - That's just ironical.

-"America"
-"Generic"

-"without Eric"

I would like to solve the puzzle: Things that would be incomplete without Eric.


Christine In Ear Shot - "Spilled Beer = Libation for the Earth!"
Yes, she actually pronounced the "=" sign in some sort of binary language that can't be spoken with the human tongue. It resembles the same high-pitched, electronic whirring sound that an old modem emits while connecting online.


Next week - Zuni Park

See you there.

Movin' On Up

Game 4 - Jefferson Park


Just to note: Heaps of praise and kudos to Adam and Sheena and their tremendous wedding on Sunday. A splendid time had by all. And what a reception, everyone beat the drum with such effusive happiness as we called the sun out and made the rain our bitch.

Results:
Poops - Game Winner, Big Winner
Temuchin- GW
Eric - GW, And Birthday boy. (no points will be awarded due to date of croquet falling upon the yearly observance of your parturition. Thank you.)
Carly - GW
A.J. - Poison Wicket Kill (of his own brother no less)

Standings:
A.J. - 4
Red - 3
Josh - 3
Mike G. - 2
Temuchin - 2
Eric - 2
Poops - 2
Kevin - 1
John S. - 1
Jess - 1
Boyd - 1
Frankie - 1
Zach - 1
Mike L. - 1
Carly -1


And the book says, "we may be through with the winter, but the winter ain't through with us." Now I could launch off into Tirade about Colorado weather and it's unpredictability, blah, blah, blah, but as natives this attrition has worn our interests to the nub. Maybe it was just retribution for the nice weather during Lucero.
Whatever the case, it was wet and cold but we played on and even managed a little frisbie in between.

Highlights!

-Eric's Birthday party!!! Now that Askimbo has gone the way of the dodo, perhaps this can become the new birthday celebration. If your birthday falls out of season, tough titty. Anyway, there was singing, presents, candles and cake. Even the ever-carper Eric had to crack a smile and took to wearing a "Happy Birthday" sash the rest of the game. This sash granted him the Powers of Grayskull and Sight Beyond Sight to win his game, but ultimately forsook him in the Poison Battle to Spoiler-Carly. She didn't mean it. Honestly. I think.


- Highlights? What highlights? It was fucking cold and the ground was soaking, goddamn wet. You want something positive? Here:




Hero of the Game: Eric (see above)

Everyone in Ear Shot - "Happy Birthday to Ericccccccc!"

So as I go to print here, still no riddle from Dave. S'alright, I understand he's probably busy these days.

Game 5 - City of Cuernavaca Park

See you there.

The River Wild

Game 3- Ralston Grove Park

Results
A.J. - 2 Big Winner, Game Winner
Josh - 1 Poison Wicket Kill
Zach - 1 GW
Mike G. - 1 GW
Mike L. - 1 GW

Standings
Red- 3 points
Josh - 3 Points
A.J. - 3 Points
Mike G - 2 Points
Kevin - 1
Temuchin- 1
John S. - 1
Jess - 1
Boyd - 1
Jake - 1
Eric - 1
Zach - 1
Mike L. - 1


As a member of the North Side Croquet Club it seems at times we are bound by some mystical circle that anchors our very souls to the earth bordered by 1-25, 1-70, Wadsworth and Speer. Then one of our flock remembers it's in our nature to explore this land's hidden mysteries and parks. Kudos to Josh for finding a pretty cool fucking place to play. Nestled in a sleepy neighborhood in Arvada, Ralston Cove provided unusually shaped trees, rolling hills and a raging creek (more on that later). In the shadow of a retirement community whose inhabitants looked down with longing eyes and golden re-call until, that is, Zach said he might go pee right in front of their window.

Highlights!

-Low attendance. Okay not a highlight but worth mention for the quick games and halftime at the same time for everyone.


-Viv's "It was pimp style" Shot - With one shot Viv went through the halfway wicket, hit the post and came back through. Did I mention the wicket and post were resting on large tree stump about a foot and half off the ground?

-The Nature lovers or GPS-cheating-scavenger-hunters. This group of 5 or more strangers were just staring at trees near our game. Who were they? What did they want? Luckily, Josh was able to speak there language and soon deduced that they meant no harm. He began to integrate himself into their customs and courtesies, agent provocateur, soon he shall lift the veil from their eyes, soon he shall lead them from scavenger to legion, soon they shall rise their numbers darkening the horizon, soon they will jump-start the engine that ends the empire.
and that my friends, that is when his real work will begin...

Zach In Ear Shot - "Right in the nipple!"

Hero of the Game
Phil
Thankfully, John was able to capture on camera Phil's might.
I suggest you watch it.
Here's a quick preview:
In a world where Carly's ball was helplessly bobbing down a raging creek, Phil knew that he and he alone could save it, with a move that was powered by awesome, Phil leapt over the creek to the other shore. Then, his trusty partner Mikey Lyons called to Phil and hurled him a mallet, everyone watched in awe as the mallet spun through the air for what seemed like an eternity until caught! By Phil! He raised the mallet to the sky and roared with triumph as he called lightning out of the sky to smite his enemies. Then he used the mallet to get Carly's ball out of the water.


Boyd's Bullshit Hall of Fame-
If you're setting up the course and you're wickets look like this: YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!!




P.S. The bullshit of these wicket set-ups was so immense that Boyd's camera couldn't handle their bullshittery and the rest of his pics came out all blurry.
Just remember what your elders told you, "sometimes, the old magic is best."


And finally, Dave has written a riddle to all who decided not to come. The answer is the name of next week's park.
See you there.

Well this park's namesake knocked up his slaves,
Was the first to suggest the removal of braves,
Though he talked a good game about abolition,
The slaves that he owned never left that condition.
And the park itself, was also full of shit,
in that it was a landfill, then we remade it
On the north side of town, this park was the first,
And it's finally fun, since the cops have dispersed

Coke Blocked

Game 2 - Vigil Park/Virgil Park/Globeville Landing -The park with an Identity Crisis

Josh - (2) Game Winner; Big Winner

Jess - (1) Game Winner

Boyd - (1) Game Winner

Jake - (1) Game Winner

Eric - (1) Poison Wicket Kill

A.J. - (1) Poison Wicket Kill

STANDINGS-

Red- 3 points

Josh -2
Mike G.- 1
Kevin - 1
Temuchin- 1
John S. - 1

Jess - 1

Boyd - 1

Jake - 1

Eric - 1

A.J. - 1

First off, big apology for the lateness here -- I want these blogs to be out by Thursday, at the least. That there's my plan...anyway on with Game 2-

The ianuary season continues to emerge from it's hollow, taking its first teetering steps, eyes squinting into the sun. However, everyone on Tuesday seemed to be in mid-season form. Big plays, Big games, Big laughs, Big drinkers it's going to be a good '09. I hate to see the same names on the scoreboard, but it's early yet. Anyway, the games began with a crack of thunder and a quick rain delay, which was just God's way of saying "Shit. Hold up, I need to bocce!"

Highlights:

- The Yellow Game --All yellow balls, all yellow wickets, all yellow-rat-bastards. Why! Why not?

I sure hope no one caught Jaundice in that game.

- Shane playing with one foot in a cast and on crutches. Not much of a highlight in itself but then he managed to dodge a shot blasted by Josh (accidentally), without falling or dropping an ounce of his beer. Shane should be proud, but it wasn't enough to secure him Hero of the Game.

-Tequila!

-Mike denied Poison by a discarded Coke can.

Hero Of The Game- Geoff Orr.

Denny (Nick's dog) was tied to a post under the promenade, when without warning or reason decided he had enough of this cruel world or "scent + squirrel=chase!" and jumped up and over the big wall. The bundle of black fur, held taught by a cheap $5 collar that was now the very noose squeezing the life out of his body; when suddenly out of nowhere Geoff leapt down and lifted Denny back onto the bench and to safety. Another day saved, the hero humbly whispered, "no problem," then shot straight into the sky to stop the moon from crashing into the earth.

Jess In Ear Shot- "I felt my ball quiver!" We all did Jess, we all did.

NEXT GAME-

I haven't received the riddle from Dave regarding the location of next weeks game, so I have to do it myself again -

When traveling west

A forgotten key will complete your quest

Ralston Cove Park

58th and Independence

See you there.

Croquet est mortuus, porro ago croquet

Game 1- Apel-Bacher

Red- 3 points. / 1-poison wicket kill/ 1-game winner/ 1-overall game winner
Yeah, you read that right.
Mike G.- 1 point game winner
Kevin - 1 point game winner
Temuchin- 1 point game winner
John S. - 1 point game winner
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Out of the treacherous drifts of everwinter the Northside Croquet Club emerged with PBR in our clutches, and as a thicket of mallets were raised to the sky a reveille was heard: GAME ON! After a short preseason that saw us visit only 3 parks, the steadfast Wolf Park; the haunted grounds on which a carousel once stood and Mosquito park; which I think deserves a name change to just The Island. 'Cause for most of us, like the Island on Lost, even if you've been there before you can never remember how to get back. It's when you stop looking for it that Mosquito Park finds you.

Preseason saw it's share of highlights. First off - Let's hear it for Tashina and her crafty invention, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: "The Girlunal"Now NSCC ladies can fear neither lack of restroom facilities or evergreen bushes.Tashina already deserves MVP for her contribution.

Other highlights of preseason:Preseason Game I (Wolf Park) - The introduction of Kevin's Beer Belt, this fancy beer holster will keep Kev the fastest drinker in the west.

PS Game II (Carousel Park Eliches) - Kevin sitting on, then breaking, then repairing Tyler's bike.
-Zach doesn't play by your rules. Fucker.
-Boyd's ricochet of the wall back through Deme's legs shot. (Not Funny)
-The figure eight course that was neither a figure, an eight nor a course.

PS Game III- Mosquito Park The ISLAND!!
-Laura Schiavone took a break from conquering the MMA circuit and her training from an undisclosed location deep in the jungles of Thailand to join us for some croquet.
-Marika doesn't play by your rules.
-DOGS!
-Poops: Even a cashed Poops is still a dangerous animal
-Stephanie's infa-red scope/headlamp
-Mikey Lyons In Ear Shot. :"Watch your rabbit turd A.J.!"


Game 1 Highlights:
-Dave's Bitch Wicket: A wicket wedged between two trees
-Krisha's kick shot that she managed to pull off without actually striking the mallet with her foot. "It just flicked up and hit the ball!" -Krisha
-Kevin's double wicket shot UP a hill for Poison from downtown.
-Kevin blasted in the chest by Tashina's ball. "She hit me in the goddamn solar plexus!" -Kevin


I know Dave was proposing a riddle with the answer being the next park as penance for those who don't stay until the end, so I'll do this one for Game 2.
Game 2 -At Virgil Park. Near the Pepsi Cola Bottling Company.

What?
See you there.

P.S. As we surge forward into the season, rants/raves/suggestions/ideas are always welcome for this blog.

The Final Countdown

Sadly, the NSCC 2008 season is officially over. For the first time ever we have a repeat champ. Give it up for John Simpkins! After a grueling match to the death, John has triumphed and beat all odds. Did anyone even notice him sneak up in rank this season. That dude came out of no where!

They say that all good things must come to an end. And I say that all good things come with a straw and a lime.

The summer of shenanigans and debauchery was a good one, and I have to say, we've really stuck with this croquet thing. We've played through flash floods and mosquitos, for the love of the game. Croquet is our common denominator, and I already cant wait until next year!

Top 5:

1. Tashina's idea for a portable girls pisser next year.

2. Mike G. and me rockin' out to Guns n' Roses on my cell phone.

3. Ricky yells "watch out!", while John Simpkins walks right through the blast zone yelling "what did I miss!?", and then gets hit by the ball.

4. The awards ceremony (Should we keep this a tradition?)

5. The cluster fuck of people at the wicket mound.

Bonus Top 5:

6. Peeing in the tree with Naomi and Steph.

7. I spelled wrangler wrong on Jake's button.

8. Most talkative Temechin getting his 1st point by poison wicket kill on Mike G.

9. Phil apologizing to everyone as he knocked them over in the chicken fight.

10. The first two-peat in NSCC history by Mr. John Simpkins, defender of the year.

Tip of the Week:

According to the rules you can wicket kill on any wicket in ANY game, it's a matter of ethics or pride or whatever to not do it. Should there be a referendum on this? And then Boyd said, read the fucking rules and remember them! So Im assuming rule shit still needs tuning.

Slogan of the Week:

"I got so hot pounding that pole" - Julie

Hero of the Week:

Eric and Nate for the beer run.

Douche-Bag of the Week:

Red for killing Chachi, when all Chach needed was 1 point to beat John. (I think we all felt Chachi's frustration!)

That Ain't Right!: By Carly

"I have a few, most important, Frankey killin' me AGAIN, running out of beer, the bathrooms being locked, and kevin getting a head lamp for the last game and moving it right before someone would take their shot."

Lets Get O.G.:

"Wow, I remember coming to this park back when I was young and wholesome." - Jeff Orr

and Nate's new ride is pretty O.G.

I've heard a rumor of a game next week for fun. Sounds pretty awesome. I think as long as the weather stays dry, we have a good shot a few more games.

I just want to thank everyone for their continued contributions to a great season. Thanks for the beer and thanks for putting your two cents into the blog.

A special thank you goes out to Dave Simpkins. Without Dave, we wouldn't have mallets, courses, or a website. His commitment to the league is outstanding!

One last food for thought; we came, we played, John conquered. 

...to be continued in 2009 bitches!

Me So Horny

You can't have a poster with 2 Live Crew on it and not name your blog "Me So Horny", right?

For those of you not familiar with the word... Horn-y; adjective (horn-i-er, horn-i-est); 1. of or resembling horn: a horny beak / horny nails; hard and rough: horny, dry skin; 2. informal feeling or arousing sexual excitement; Derivatives; horn-i-ness (noun).

Show of hands for cro-horny? Maybe cro-corny?

Top 5:

1. Boyd's Swifer Wifer

2. Dartmouth Triple D's (I heart you Eric!)

3. Dave says, BUY YOUR TICKETS FOR BEER FEST ON SATURDAY!!!

4. Savannah, spreadin' um for Krisha.

5. Who is she (Tashina) playing with? She might just be a league of her own!

Tip of the Week:

AJ "3 Shakes and a 90 degree angle" (New nickname? "Downtown AJ Brown", write that down)

Slogan of the Week:

"You've got to kick it with your heart" (Carly) "...and sole" (Frankey)

Lets Get O.G.:

Did we play here last year?????

Hero of the Week:

Shane for supplying the ALL DUDE half time.

Douche-Bag of the Week:

Shane said Mike G. and Poops. Don't argue, just let it happen.

Where's Chachi?:

Waxing his vagina in Broomfield somewhere. (Whoa low blow)

Things I Shouldn't have Overheard:

"I'm the backstop, not the basket." -Dave Simpkins, followed by the girls chanting "clench it, clench it!"

Obscure Misc.

WTF? We played mosquito last week!

Shout Outs:

Happy Anniversary Savannah and Red!

Cro-Nominations:

Dave nominated me as the "Ministry of Information". I accept, and I'm hiring John Simpkins as my speech writer.

Hey guys, I hope you all had a really kick ass season. I know I did!

Next week is the last blog of the season. Although we've been doing the community blogs, I think I might make next week's a "best of".

Also, everyone please STICK AROUND after next weeks game! Im working on getting Mike G. to finish the player cards, Boyd and I have a super cool surprise, and there WILL be chicken fighting. 

So remember your helmet, and tell your sweetheart that you'll be home late... and drunk.

Whole Lotta Love

I never got the chance last week to write anything, and am currently fighting with my kitten over the poster. Damn, she loves paper. Last weeks game was sort of bittersweet because it marked the end of parks being called for games. It seems as though this season flew by when it was barely getting good!

Next week (Or should I say tomorrow night) is at Anderson Park on 23rd and Clay, and the week after that is our season close at Wolff Park. I think we should call a bbq for that game, of course all byo.

Top 4:

1. Mike G.'s run from poisons to poison.

2. Chris Red dedicated his win to Savannah!

3. The horizontal 8 wicket game. Apparently Jake & Marika's course not only had a wicket in the side of the tree, they also discovered at the very end, that there where only 8 wickets in play.

4. Nate's stealth kamikaze.

Slogan of the Week:

"My mouth tastes like a department store"

Hero of the Week:

Tashina for getting the bug spray, and Dee for texting in the 38 cents/gal premium gas at 38th & pierce. Someone got fired that night!

Douche-bag of the Week:

The mosquitos, Red crossed out to look like Boyd and then vetoed, and Deme for spraying bug spray in everyone's beer.

That Sounds Good!: By Tashina

Pissin' at my house at half time.

Things I Shouldn't have Overheard:

"I've thought about smothering him in his sleep... I mean... smothering him with love."

Balls of the Week:

We weren't sure what Jake meant by wanting to add this category, so after a silly conversation with Shane, we decided that Shane has the balls of the week.

Where's Amber?:

Mowing the lawn in one way or another.

Where's Mikey?:

Laying the pipe.

Which brings us to the Tip of the Week:

You've got to dig the grass to lay the pipe.

Don't know how that all happened, but you can probably blame Carly. Just kidding, it was all in good fun. See you all next week!

Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town

So I'm gonna roll everything into one gigantic email here. We'll start off with the top 5, which I'll be doing for Jess this week since she had to miss the game yesterday. Let's call it...

Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town

Despite an email exchange in which remembering to bring a pen was mentioned a dozen times, I forgot to bring a pen. So everything here is what we jotted down into Deme's iPhone, which I'm going to nominate as hero of the week. Those things are frickin' cool.

Top 5

- Eric's wrap around in which his ball stayed put but his mallet went through the wicket and got stuck.
- The poison battle starting at 8:30
- Dave jumping booty ass naked into the swimming pool with no water
- Cancer wicket

- The street light working

Tip 'O the week: picking up wickets doesn't mean just throwing them at the bag.

Douche bag of the week: Mike for offering a dollar to anyone who could hit Trece with their ball.
Also, I don't think he ever payed up for his 1$ offers to "dong" the pole.

So I know this is a pretty feeble Top 5, and I apologize. Next time maybe I'll remember a pen.

Onward and upward-

Game winners and such
I was the big winner of the night, outshooting or outlasting John, Josh, Carly and Tim. Carly and John both also got wicket kills. I'm calling Mosquito park for Tuesday, but before that, Josh and Phil are gonna host a tournament this Sunday at their new place. The address is 7733 w 95th dr. Hopefully that map is right, because google maps is acting real squirrely about it. If you get lost, call somebody.We'll tap the keg around noon, and start up the game around 1:00. Probably $5 as usual.

Standings

So I was also asked to send out the standings since we're heading into the home stretch here, with only three games left.

John - 11 points
Deme - 10 points
Josh - 10 points
Dave - 8 points
Kevin - 7 points
Boyd - 7 points
Eric - 6 points
Doug - 6 points
Carly - 6 points
Tim - 6 points
Poops - 5 points
Dak - 3 points
Viv - 3 points
Shane - 3 points
AJ - 3 points
Ricky - 3 points
Red - 3 points
Jess - 2 points
Nate - 2 points
Steph - 2 points
Jake - 2 points
Tashina - 2 points
Savannah-2 points
Melanie - 2 points
Mike - 2 points
Gen - 1 point
Poops - 1 point
Sonia - 1 point
Julie - 1 point
Margaret - 1 point
Marco - 1 point
Mary - 1 point
Kevin F - 1 point
Amber - 1 point

That's all that I can remember for now, so see y'all on Sunday or Tuesday or whenever.

Township Rebellion

Our history at Wash park seems to be that we get to play the croquet green every other year, this being our apparent off year. 

Although Carly tried to talk the guy into leaving the lights on for us, let us remember that we have been playing in the dark for a really really long time. Thou shalt not vex a stranger, I suppose.

I do have to say that Wash Park was looking its best. It was beautiful and quiet. Just the right mixture for a lovely match of croquet. Maybe Rage Against the Machine put the right voodoo out there for us or something?

Top 5:

1. Mike's porn stash.

2. Sesame chicken w/ egg rolls. (Someone was hungry!)

3. The most peaceful game of croquet ever. (Jess, Josh, Amber, Savanna and Shane)

4. Red's glorious kill on Deme.

5. The return of Gen.

Tip of the Week:

"Grass is good for beer, but not your balls"

Hero of the Week:

Everyone who brought beer! aka Mikaela for bring beer and not even playing.

Slogan of the Week: By Amber

"Just let it go..."

Lets Get O.G.:

Doug - "Back in the day when Emy was droppin' the zip cord"

Doug - "When being North Side was being North Side"

Jeff - "Being wasted!"

Douche-bag of the Week:

"The Wash Park Lawn Bowling club for playing some gay ass botche and not letting us jump the fence", says Mike G. followed by "You should also add something about old geezer balls".

Things I shouldn't have Overheard:

"Are you ready for some white on white" some dude said to his wife referring to the lawn bowlers.

That Sounds Good!:

Taco night at Jess' (man I must make one hell of a taco)

Where is John?:

He's not here because he's probably at his bachlorette party. - Deme

Thanks everyone for making it out there, it was a great time. Congrats to Amber on killing Shane and getting her first point!

See you all next week!

I Can't See Your Face In My Mind

This weeks game started out fresh, Jake and I tailgated with some Popeye's, which should have been chicken and a 40oz, but I can do with strips and mashed potatoes.

Who's got Olympic fever? If there was a gold medal to be given out at this weeks game, Savanna should have been Michael Phelps. Silver goes to Brunn for flying in for the game, and Bronze goes to Mikaela for playing the entire game on a bum knee. I've been nominated by Maura for the Olympic Congeniality Medal, for my impersonation of Missy Elliott's "I cant stand the rain", dance moves, in my black trash bag rain coat, compliments of Dave S. "I would like to thank early 21st century hip-hop, my mom, to Wyclef Jean for teaching me to shake what my mamma gave me, of course to god cause that's what your supposed to say, and how could I forget my wonderful fans! Without you, I laugh by myself".

Hey, at next years match at City Park, I propose the statue that was about 200 yards from us, it was cool, and there was light.

Lets Go Top 5:

1. Mike G.'s first point.

2. Red rockin' the purse

3. Jess' trash bag mexican hat dance.

4. Shane's failed kamikaze mission - there was "heart of gold" in it!

5. Mike G.'s tree blind wicket shot.

Bonus Top 5:

6. Shane's 25 foot english wicket shot, with the roll back through the wicket.

7. Third annual citrus death star kill by Dave S.

Tip of the Week: By Guest Star: Brunn

"You can never win with the citrus death star" (orange ball)

Douche-Bag of the Week:

Wet goose shit and John for picking the dark park, and not even coming to the game.

Let's Get O.G.: By Nate-Dogg

Didn't it rain last year at this park? And what happened to playing at the tennis courts?

Conversations I shouldn't have Overheard:

"Girls are pretty when they're wet"

Moment that shouldn't have happened:

Zak caught pudd whacking in the bushes.

Her of the Week:

Big Black TRASH BAGS

Slogan of the Week:

"City Park equals Shitty Park" "It's always shitty in the city"

Like Dave S. said, next weeks park is at Washington Park. Oh, and before I forget, Mikaela wanted me to post her address for a little get together at her place on Saturday, August 16th. 2919 Depew. Dunno what time, call Maura.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama

Welcome to this weeks community blog. 

This was the neatest, most tidiest poster that I think we have ever had. Most other times, I have to become Timmy and figure out what Lassie is trying to tell me,  and its not usually a fire down in the old shed on old man Withers acre.

I don't really have that much to say this week, not because I'm not feeling witty or didn't witness great moments in NSCC history, only because I think you say it all on the poster, better than I ever could.

We have fun, and that's what its all about. We easily bring outsiders in, to participate in the camaraderie that is this league, and I feel bad for anyone who cant see the spirit in that.

Top 5:

1. Paleta Spider Man.

2. Mikey's return.

3. Kevin on the tennis court.

4. The cleanest poster yet!

5. Tashina's bagpipes.

Hero of the Week:

Wolf - the return...

Tip of the Week:

"Don't eat yellow snow, don't pee in the wind, and always cover dog poo with 3 wickets and a plastic bag."

Douche-Bag of the Week:

A self confession: I, Julie, nominate myself for killing Rob (my b.f.) right before he got poison.

 :o(

Dave fore cleaning up before the game was done playing though and everyone for making Dave clean up shit every week.

Lets Get O.G.:

"Jessica M. was here '08" - was in the women's restroom stall (and no, I didn't write it)

Bottom 5:

-No beer -AGAIN?! What the *#@!

Obscure Misc.:

Martin (the croquet virgin) gets hit in the ankle by Viv's croquet ball & then jumps every time he hears "watch out!".

Something I should have NEVER overheard:

Wolf to Carly "You just put your man's stick in my mouth" then later on that evening...

Lion "I'm gonna die from cancer"

Josh "We're all gonna die from cancer"

Lion "Well, especially me."

Josh "Well, lets die together"

Lion "Oh,... I'll die."

Useful Information for your Bubble:

Did you know, its not only a bubble, its also a condom.

Thanks everyone for your participation this week. I HAVE NO MORE TAG BOARD! So if someone would like to contribute and either bring one, or if everyone wants to contribute to buy like 5 more for the rest of the season, that would be really cool.

Next weeks park is City Park, and NOT by the tennis courts... this year we are moving closer to the playground. See you next week!

SexyBack

Croquet always brings sexy back. To quote the song "Dirty babe, you see these shackles baby Im your slave, I'll let you with me if I misbehave, its just that no one makes me feel this way, uh huh."  From our duct taped mallets to selling ass crack to all the kids, there's nothing sexier than that! Work that crack, work it!

This week's park was pretty cool other than every other light pole in the whole entire park except the two that we chose to play next to worked. Next thing you know we will all be wearing bi-focals from squinting in the dark. That's even sexier! (This is the part where Mike G. and I break out in a well rehearsed dance, and then everyone else joins in...)

Enough ramblin' ON with the show!

Oh wait, just a little side note from the editor, Deme got shit on this week, can we try and be a little nicer? What's the only rule of this club? E.L.E. - everyone love everyone!

Top 5: (#1 by far takes the cake as the best top 5 moment in recorded history)

1. Mike G. hitting Deme in the back of the head with a beer can. He kicked shot it way up in the air, and it crashed into Deme's dome.

2. The "baked" goods.

3. Phil's corduroys.

4. It wont stay up cause it's so chocolatie smooth (Sorry Carly, there is no spell check for that word!)

5. Jeff with Mabel

Slogan of the Week:

"Drink hard & bring beer or DONT drink!!! Son!!!"

Let's Get O.G.: (there are 2)

No more points suckas!!!!!!! and Slip n' slide (This park would be good for it!)

Douche-Bag of the Week:

By JC: Someone stole my bicycle! Where's my free bike sign? So who ever stole JC's bike is a total douche and DEME, because he walked out on his game without picking up the wickets. (Deme has been nominated as the first ever double douche, which is pretty bad, there is even a suggestion that this act of carelessness for the game should result in negative points!)

Tip of the Week:

Don't fuck with the blogger! Especially when she hears about the douche-bag of the week!

That Sounds Good! aka That Smells Good!:

Sonia's steak

Things I shouldn't have overheard:

Maura -  "Im Farty"   JC - "Wanna see my running shoes!? Oh, I didn't wear them!"  and Deme - "Nobody even knows I cheat, I cannot be caught!"

Instead of Where's JC? this week is Where's Mikey?:

"Where's in the world is Ramos?" "Yeah, where is that guy?" "He's searching for his pot o' gold... & his fuckin' horse shit!"

Shirt of the Week:

Red's purple cowboy shirt

Obscure Misc.:

Julie's fart sounded like a text message. (Girls fart?) and Mikaela says: JC is Poop Dick

Okay well, interesting... I like this, it's funny when I have to go back and read these posters, cause some stuff I don't understand, but I see where you are going with it. This isn't the first time I've said "I don't get it..."

Next week, Rocky Mountain Park. There is some debate about where exactly in the park we will play, but luck for you the park aint big and you aint dumb. See you next week!

You're Bleeding

I love NOFX. Just to quote the song, because its a fucking great song "You've got the beauty, but that don't mean a thing, a bland reciprocation, but it don't bother me".  For you other NOFX lovers, on a side note, Bob Turkey is such a dick.

This weeks game was really fun. Thanks to Kevin Frisbie for the argyle shirts, the wrist bands and the bomb diggity air fresheners. 

Thanks to everyone who left their contribution to the first ever Community Blog. It seemed to go over really well, so I think I will keep doing this. That way everyone gets to contribute, and I don't have to walk around the battle field trying to get drunk people to remember. 

So remember, write that scheissen down, on your half time or on your beer run! Make it count! There is no way in hell that I could have come up with as much randomness that you all did, so I thank each and everyone of you for being all up in everyone else's poo.

LOL, I wanted to say shit, but poo was better!

Here we go!

Top 5:

1. Carly, the overtime sharp shooter. (Sounds like a force to be reckoned with!)

2. Jess' Taco Rules (Please, for the love of taco's, ask Poops to explain, and NO its not something dirty!!!)

3. The upside down nomination for the Top 5 (which if I could make my computer write upside down, it would have been wayyyyyy cooler)

4. Josh receiving bad advice "Hit the ball, and if not, land right next to it"

5. Everyone Love Everyone!

Bonus 3 to the Top 5:

6. Dave finally getting to write in the dark with his super glow pen.

7. Kevin's mallet actually having a purpose. (Please ask for detailed drawing to scale from Kevin of his crazy mallet contraption involving the retaining wall and some sort of weight scale.)

8. Tail-gating after the game. (Word up Shane!)

Tip of the Week:

Watch out for Ricky (for real)

Slogan of the Week: There are two this week...

"Think of the kids!" and "That wicket is poised for penetration!" 

Hero of the Week:

Kevin for the schwag.

Douche-bag of the Week: also dubbed the "Most Popular" category

John S for not bringing Zak's mallet, the wicket on the side walk, and AJ, for kicking Kevin's mallet across the course.

Lets Get O.G.: By Boyd (I only know cause I saw him write it down, AND he included his name)

"I member beatin' everyone in 30 minutes, then gettin' drunk for 2 hours before the poison battle."

3 Things I shouldn't have overheard:

AJ to himself, "mmm... pineapple... followed by the nipple rub." 

"that's the second time she nailed it!"

Poops to Jake, "Dude, I have a huge one!"

That Sounds Good!: By Jess and Zach

Mulato Gelato, y-u-m-m-y

Rule Clarification of the Week:

Going through both wickets and hitting the post at halfway results in two shots.

Shirt of the Week: By Maura

Hot pink boob advertisement shirt logo aka TITvertising.

Obscure Misc.:

Figuring out the thermodynamic properties of beer.

I don't know what category this was meant for, so its now the SUPER Obscure Misc.:

"You get the boob."

Well with that being said, Josh was the big winner of the week and has chosen Barnum Park, located somewhere near 3rd & Hooker. 

Everyone is moving or out of town this weekend, so Im not really sure if there will be a Tournament, stay tuned into your email for details from Dave S. 

Also, we are having a small shin-dig for Boyd & Sheena's bday's at our house, Saturday, August 2nd. If you wanna stop by, come and see me next week and I will give you more details.

My random thought to keep you entertained... JC is still missing. This could be the start of a new category, Where is JC?: This week I'm going to say that JC was tied up in a phone call from the FDA in regards to the recent salmonella scare. They just wanted to clarify the difference between falapano's and jalapenos.

See you next week!

Garbanzo

Once again, I fucked up. I did remember to bring the paper and pen to the game, however I failed to write down most everything that happened. Dave even let me borrow this really cool pen that lights up so I could write in the dark!

So I have an idea for next week, I'm going to buy a piece of tag board, and attach a pen. It will be located by the beer, so anytime you feel like writing something down, please do so. It would be awesome to include any announcements one might have, i.e. engagements, marriages, bbq's, birthdays... whatev.

It will be the first community blog, and if all goes well, and people enjoy it, maybe it will become permanent!

Speaking of the NSCC community,  just in case some people their feelings all hurt last weeks game, the TRUE team picture for the season, INCLUDING MAURA, will be taken at Washington Park. So that means, one of the winners will have to call it, and make it happen. The picture that we did take was for fun, thank you to everyone who isn't allergic.

Top 5:

1. The return of Kristine!

2. The girls free-birding the ladies room onto their course.

3. Boyd getting stuck in the hole in front of his wicket like a million times.

4. Josh not understanding my joke, he said "just put it on the top 5", followed by a high 5.

5. Mike G. getting worked by Jake. DO WORK SON!

Slogan of the Week: By Kristine, Steph and Savanna

If you get me, you get me. If you don't, you don't. Its cro-logic.

Tip of the Week: By Carly

Play croquet. If someone asks for advise, give it. But if you want to be a coach,... find an after school program.

Douche-bag of the Week: By Carly

The porta-potty and the hill to the porta-potty.

Hero of the Week:

So while I've been sitting here trying to think of shit to write, because as I mentioned earlier, I gots nothing, I asked Jake for a hero of the week. He said "Me (as in himself), cause I rocked Mike G., and then went for a run." Maybe Jake should have been the douche.

Things I shouldn't have overheard, isn't going to happen, cause I didn't write down anything I overheard.

NEW! Gettin' Those Digits:

Tim with his puppy. That thing is a total chick magnet!

Let's Get O.G.:

Remember when Dave Bergonz fell out of the tree at Zuni?

We have officially CLOSED the photo booth for the player cards. To all of you who refused to have your picture taken, I don't feel bad that you wont get a card. Ha ha!

So I need to finish this somehow, and I'm not sure what to say. Jake was supposed to be helping me, but now he is wandering around our house. The best thing I could think of, was talking shit about Jake. 

See you all next week at Richard-Hart Estate!

It Must Have Been the Roses

The lesson that Dave and I can agree on that we learned this week is always for the love of the game, remember a pen and paper. This has had to have been the most difficult blog that I have ever written, solely based on emails that went back and forth between Dave and I today. I will apologize right off the bat for anything that is not included in this blog that you thought was of the upmost importance to share. Please feel free to leave hate mail, or even something I left out in the comments section.

This weeks game was at the lovely Sunken Gardens. Thankfully Julie escaped torment from any 14 year old boys and JC. By the way, where is JC these days? Someone assemble a search party! Leave no falapano behind!

Next week I will be getting player card pictures for anyone that wasn't able to make it to the game. I will track you down and get your picture! Don't think you can slip by me! Plus, when the cards are finished, you can show them off to all your co-workers, and play the "don't you wish you where me" card. EVERYONE likes a one-upper. (That's for you Maura!)

You will notice that there has been three new categories for this weeks blog edition. Rule clarification of the Week, because there is always something controversial going on, Let's Get O.G., a need for nostalgia, and That Sounds Good!, a brain-stormed recipe that could sell for millions of dollars on the black market. Enjoy!

Top 5:

1. Eric's beer getting hit by a fly by, and flipped right side up. Followed by Eric yelling "I'm still standing!"

2. The 6 poison game. Each player ended up being poison!

3. Jake getting "the worst bounce of the season"

4. Takin' it to the rocks.

5.  The wicket in the homeless shitter.

Slogan of the Week: By Carly and Margaret

"You don't want to be the backstop. The backstop gets used to make baskets."

Douche-bags of the Week:

Everyone who didn't bring beer, and then let Eric go on the beer run. (I brought beer, so I'm clear of the douche-bag-ness this week! SUCKAS!)

Hero of the Week:

Maura, for holding up the blanket anytime one of us girls needed to pee in the bush!

Rule Clarification of the Week:

There is only one way to get three shots in one turn. Hitting through two wickets AND hitting a ball in the SAME SHOT!

Tip of the Week:

Don't ask Dave for Rule Clarifications. (You could have had four shots)

Conversations I shouldn't have heard!:

Poops to Maura "I should have taken advantage of you last night when you where drunk, ...NO that's not what I mean!, I meant because I had a camera."

Let's Get O.G.: By Eric

1. Bring Beer and 2. FINISH YOUR GAME! - These are the two original rules from when the league was first formed, and Eric thought that we all should be reminded.

That Sounds Good!"

The "Irish Taco", its is a baked potato, split in half to resemble a taco shell, stuffed with corned beef and cabbage. Truly an amazing sight!`

AJ was the winner, he's called Zuni Park as the next landing pad.

I guess this blog didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought it was going to be. It truly goes to show, that even though we forgot a pot to piss in, it was better than a homeless shitter.

See you all next week!

Who Are You???

I have no idea who the band is on the cover art for this weeks poster. Anyone, anyone? Im guessing that Shane had a really good day yesterday, because not only did he make it onto the top 5 twice, he's also part of the slogan of the week. Someone was drinking too much joint juice I suppose. 

For you drunkards and potheads that need a reminder, Sunday there's going to be a Tournament/BBQ at Carly and Kevin's. If you have never participated in the tourney, I must tell you, its a great time. The game takes a really really really really long time, but its all worth it. It's $5.00 to enter, 3rd place gets their money back, 2nd place gets $15.00, and 1st place takes the purse. Plus we BBQ and drink all day long. Maybe if we are all good little girls and boys, there will be fireworks! To famously quote Eric, "Lets light some shit on fire!"

Top 7: (There where far too many moments this week not to post them)

1. Joint Juice from the Suzuki girls.

2. Shane getting poison before any of his team members where halfway.

3. Porta Potti... Occupied? or Italian?

4. Shane refusing a free hat because it was "too white".

5. BCH not showing up to the game because they where all holding hands at the Stevie Wonder concert. (this on is not my doing, I just report the news people)

6. Red, White & Blue, for Thanksgiving. (thanks to Savannah for letting me write that down)

7. The kick-ballers kicking Kevin's ball back to him during the poison battle. (gosh that was a lot of k's)

Slogan of the Week: By AJ

"I try to hump Shane, because he's awesome."

Something I Overheard:

"When is the equinox?" "Like 3 weeks ago." "That's not very pagan of you!"

Tip of the Week: By Marika

Don't think about bending the wicket, think about bending the world.

NEW! Healthy Habits: By Boyd

1. Always wear chesticle protection.

2. 4 funbags are a good time.

Douche-Bag of the Wee:

Gen's mallot, and the kickball players for rousting Marika!

Hope to see you all at the tournament, lets win some money! Next weeks game is at Sunken Gardens, so lets see what crazy people talk to us and fall in love with Julie this time!